What is your dream?

September 18, 2020

Hendrien v.d Bijl

“If you have a heartbeat, there is still time to dream”- Unkown

What does your dream relationship/marriage look like? It sounds like an easy question but if you really have to think about it, do you really know what your biggest dream is for your relationship? Most couples struggle to answer when they are asked this question. Either because, after years of pain and disappointment to have to think about what they dream about is difficult to answer. Or couples only tend to tell you about all the things they don’t want when they are asked this question. “I don’t want him to be so serious”, “If she can just stop talking so much”, or something like “I dream about the day we don’t scream at each other all the time”.

Even though these are valid statements, we tend to put all our focus and attention to the things we are trying to suppress, ignore, or get rid of that we forget to stop and think about what it is what we do want and want to see more off.  It is kind of sad to think about how we as children used to dream about chocolate rivers and an endless amount of candy. Or how we could see the whole world if we were able to grow wings. But as adults, we are dreaming about how we can find ways just to survive our daily lives and how we can suppress the liveliness of our partners in order for us to have peace within ourselves.

Life and love are not interested in finding ways for you to only survive life, but rather it is more curious to find ways for you to get back to your full aliveness. Where emotions, thoughts, opinions, and actions can be invited and celebrated in its totality, not just the parts that is accepted in another’s eyes. Love and life are more interested in how we can learn ways to become a place where dreams are possible. For yourself but for your partner as well. And doesn’t that sound more exciting, instead of dreaming of how you can survive, rather learning ways how you can become a place where you can invite dreams and aliveness in each other.

It is time to redirect our focus to the things we want to see and experience because what you focus on, will show up. So instead of looking at your partner and dreaming about how they can be more or less, start to focus on the positive aspects that are already there and you will be amazed how that will start to show up more. And it is never too late to start living the life of your dreams. If you have a heartbeat, there is still time.

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